Thursday, 1 July 2010

Mac = Misery

Well now, it's been quite a week, or weekend...Jeez I'm all over the place.

I just couldn't figure out what the Muttie One was up to over the last few days. I mean, since Friday last week she's been regularly rubbing me with this old tee-shirt of hers (thankfully she'd washed it first). But why?? I couldn't figure out her reasoning. I mean, my days of circling the sides of the bath then falling in head-first are long gone (see previous pics) - my fur didn't need drying off. I now know how to conduct myself where baths are concerned.

But still, The Muttie persisted, every night...wipe, wipe, rub, rub. At one stage I thought she'd lost it. Well, let's face it, she's been leading up to it for months now. In fact, the moment I met her I privately placed her in the 'barmy' category.

All was revealed however on Sunday night when I came face-to-face with this hyperactive explosion of ginger fur:

Apparently he's my new 'brother.' His name's Mac and I don't like him very much. In fact, I HATE HIM. The reason Muttie kept rubbing me with the tee-shirt was that prior to meeting me she rubbed the ginger thing in it, and believed some sort of 'transference' would take place ie apparently cos the ginger thing smelled like me I'd think it was my offspring! Doh!! Just how much intelligence to humans attribute to cats??

Out of sheer curiosity (and immediate hatred)  I had a sniff at the ginger furball. Gads!! My instinctive (and I reckon intelligent reaction) was to rear my back, spit, hiss and growl. I then, showing my distaste, fled the scene.

Three days hence, he's still here.

Muttie spends her nights in the spare room with him and Paw cuddles up to me in the double bed.

Could cats cause relationship-anxiety??

Anyways, I don't want the Muttie and Paw to split up on account of my dislike of ginger furball so I've devised a plan to rid us of him once and for all. I will:

  • eat all his food so he'll starve to death
  • take him for some 'road sense' lessons, only forget to teach him the basics
  • introduce him to the neighbourhood fox
  • give him a bunch of lilly's to chew on
Any more suggestions welcome....

Your, not-particularly-friendly-Milt xx

PS The Muttie Woman says if I don't put a link on here to her PinkVox column then - in her words - "you think your life is bad right now - in terms of a kitten-conundrum - let's just see how much worse it can get." At this point, I realise life is a compromise and I'm willing to do whatever to get the old bat off my back. PS, the forthcoming text has no relation to my musings...