Monday, 14 June 2010

What's Going On??

Oooooh, one does enjoy a good back scrub in dirt - free exfoliation courtesy of Mother Nature:)

Meanwhile, what to report?

There's an air of secrecy around the household these days.  I catch Muttie and Paw whispering away then, when I stroll into the vicinity, they change the subject. Muttie will say something like: "So, petrol's gone up another 10p eh?" And I just know their current conversation isn't related to what they were speaking about previously.

Also, on Saturday, Muttie bought a packet of Hill's extra-special cat food...the KITTEN variety!! Now, I might be small for an adult male cat - and rather muscular I might add - but I ain't no kitten. Fatboy says I'm just being paranoid and maybe they're just trying to keep me on my paws. But I'm not so sure.

Also, Muttie's cancelled all engagements for the last weekend in June. And she and Paw are planning to sleep in separate rooms. Apparently I've to sleep with Paw. But who's Muttie going to be sleeping with? Not that I particularly want to sleep with her 'cos boy can she snore! But it's the principle, ya know...

Anyway, sorry, I know this isn't a particularly informative post but I'm just wondering if you blogging buddies can shed any light?

Your much-maligned Milt x

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Historical Boobs?? My Muttie's...

I've been a bad kitty - in more ways than one.

Firstly, I haven't been blogging as regularly as I should - due to a fascinating big clump of wood and leaves in our neighbour's garden which the aforementioned has left lying all week (she felled her two trees in one go).

Well, I feel it's my mission to inspect this now-redundant  huge piece of nature to ensure there are no mice etc inhabiting it. And unfortunately there's not :(. And believe me, I have spent HOURS rummaging. To the extent that Muttie has had to come grab me to get me to come to bed at night...she even ventured out in her  pyjamas the other night (shudder). This is not a pretty sight especially as the complicated bone-structured stuff she refers to as 'underwear' no longer 'holds her in.'

And the other reason I've been bad...well actually, this is Muttie's fault (as usual). I believe there was a 'historical' error in my last post due to Muttie's crap research. Yes, the silly bint told me that Queen Elizabeth the First had an affair with Ghillie Brown when really, everyone knows, that ruffs only came into fashion after Mary Queen of Scots defeated Hitler at the Battle of Bannockburn in 1066. Doh!! She's sacked...again...

Anyhows, other, Paw and the Muttie One went to the local RSPB Centre at Lochwinnoch the other day and we discovered all these wierd objects nailed to trees. Well, they're not wierd objects in themselves but to find them nailed onto trees was pretty Kooky:

 Yes, that's a teddy bear. And the other weird item:

Er, that'll be a hat then! And the reason for this? They're both birds' nests. Recycling-tastic!!

Another thing happened at the RSPB reserve and I was SOOOO embarrassed but I believe the Muttie-Bint is using it for her woman's mag column so no doubt she'll share the link in my next post (she's so PUSHY!!) and anyways, I'm so glad it's not being referenced to in this one (one has standards). Obviously, the next link will be a' la her...or however you say it in French. I'm a German scholar myself.

Anyways, sorry - nothing riveting to report in this post although I believe future mailings may be more interesting. For instance Auntie Jennifer (she of the eagle eyes and bleeding First Class History Degree who, of course, noted Muttie's boob) and Uncle Steven are coming to visit next month (hoooray - they always give me LOADS of cuddles and strokes and I'm hoping they might even bring a few packets of Dreamies with them - which were noticeably absent on their last visit by the way).

And the other potentially interesting matter - according to Muttie - is that our household is about to three weeks time...

Yours, in a curious and rather fretful fashion

Milt xx