Saturday, 5 June 2010

Historical Boobs?? My Muttie's...

I've been a bad kitty - in more ways than one.

Firstly, I haven't been blogging as regularly as I should - due to a fascinating big clump of wood and leaves in our neighbour's garden which the aforementioned has left lying all week (she felled her two trees in one go).

Well, I feel it's my mission to inspect this now-redundant  huge piece of nature to ensure there are no mice etc inhabiting it. And unfortunately there's not :(. And believe me, I have spent HOURS rummaging. To the extent that Muttie has had to come grab me to get me to come to bed at night...she even ventured out in her  pyjamas the other night (shudder). This is not a pretty sight especially as the complicated bone-structured stuff she refers to as 'underwear' no longer 'holds her in.'

And the other reason I've been bad...well actually, this is Muttie's fault (as usual). I believe there was a 'historical' error in my last post due to Muttie's crap research. Yes, the silly bint told me that Queen Elizabeth the First had an affair with Ghillie Brown when really, everyone knows, that ruffs only came into fashion after Mary Queen of Scots defeated Hitler at the Battle of Bannockburn in 1066. Doh!! She's sacked...again...

Anyhows, other, Paw and the Muttie One went to the local RSPB Centre at Lochwinnoch the other day and we discovered all these wierd objects nailed to trees. Well, they're not wierd objects in themselves but to find them nailed onto trees was pretty Kooky:

 Yes, that's a teddy bear. And the other weird item:

Er, that'll be a hat then! And the reason for this? They're both birds' nests. Recycling-tastic!!

Another thing happened at the RSPB reserve and I was SOOOO embarrassed but I believe the Muttie-Bint is using it for her woman's mag column so no doubt she'll share the link in my next post (she's so PUSHY!!) and anyways, I'm so glad it's not being referenced to in this one (one has standards). Obviously, the next link will be a' la her...or however you say it in French. I'm a German scholar myself.

Anyways, sorry - nothing riveting to report in this post although I believe future mailings may be more interesting. For instance Auntie Jennifer (she of the eagle eyes and bleeding First Class History Degree who, of course, noted Muttie's boob) and Uncle Steven are coming to visit next month (hoooray - they always give me LOADS of cuddles and strokes and I'm hoping they might even bring a few packets of Dreamies with them - which were noticeably absent on their last visit by the way).

And the other potentially interesting matter - according to Muttie - is that our household is about to three weeks time...

Yours, in a curious and rather fretful fashion

Milt xx


  1. Milton! Where to start??

    There's you being felled by felled trees then being mortified by your muttie in drawers at night scaring the mice! Poor you!! I think it's best to just stay in at night to avoid such things happening again.

    Charlie is baffled by the teddy bear and hat bird boxes. He says "they don't fool me!" but I rather like them! LOL!! I hope the birdies do too.

    Yay - your favourite uncle and auntie are coming to visit to save you from your Muttie getting her historical facts mixed up!! EVERYONE knows ruffles were invented by Adam and the Ants in the 1980's!! Silly Muttie!!

    Now for the BIG NEWS!!! I'm sensing either Fatboy or your Paw or both are moving in (can't be both, the maths is all wrong then)!

    Well I'm certainly on tenterhooks!!

    Take care

  2. Old Kitty - neither are moving in. We're getting new 'person' - and there'll be pix!!

  3. Well, I must say, that is an unusual place for a teddy bear to be hanging around in!

  4. Hello Milton! We're very pleased to meet you. Thank you for following our blog!

    What a great post. The felled trees sounded very interesting, shame about the mice.

    We look forward to reading about you and your humans more.

  5. Hi, Milt,
    Think yourself lucky. The last new arrival in our house just emerged from the spare bedroom as if she'd been teleported to my humble dwelling from outer space - and I sometimes still think she was.
    I'm very fond of Bootsie now, despite her distressing tendency to want to play chase all the time, but she was a bit of a shock to the system.
    Yours in feline solidarity,
    Jezebel xxxx

  6. Milt, I feel for you!

    I have (many times) seen The Owner in things she calls 'Underwear'.. Ugggh, no, not a pretty sight.
    A new person? Bloomin heck, watch it be a little puppy.. Haaaah, you face if that did happen... :D
    Your Jack Russell terror friend,
    Frankie x

  7. Hi Milton! Glad you are back! We totally understand about being distracted from the blog - it happens to all of us at one time or another!!

  8. Greetings, Milton.

    Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Spooky, and I own an absolute dear member of the human species - Ethel Mae Potter. She has told me of your adventures, and I find myself envious. Ethel never takes me on such interesting journeys.

    Would it have been unbecoming for you shiny up those trees and peek in the birdhouses? Not that I would do such a thing, of course; just curious.

    Without appearing too forward, I would like to say that you are quite an attractive feline. I am solid black, but have often pondered white socks.

    Would you care to come for milk and tuna one afternoon? I could have Ethel serve us on the lanai, and we could dine, then sit quietly and watch the birds and squirrels, and perhaps take a nap. Purely platonic, I assure you.

    I will await your response to my invitation.

    Kind regards,

  9. Oh, my, Milt! Sounds like you are in for some ENORMOUS changes around deepest sympathy to you...that new person may not be to your liking...Muttie will have her hands full! What funny birds' nests, btw! So curious!!! And it sounds like you have been very busy keeping an eye on EVERYTHING!! Love that! Keep up the good work and the blogging! We're cheering you on! Love, Janine XO


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