Sunday, 13 December 2009

Woofs and Waves...

A few things tickled my whiskers this week.

But the thing that really startled me was Paw in the loo today.

Now, don't worry, we're not going to get all toilet-humour'ish. It's a long story really but to take you back to the beginning there's a big fat black cat who keeps coming in through the bathroom window (Muttie leaves this open when she goes to work so's I can come and go as I please, my pad being on the ground floor). Big black fellow however, has adopted my home as his and feels it's his right to come in and scoff my food. Muttie and Paw were having a consultation about this the other day and Paw was rightly alerted.

So, anyways, this morning Muttie was lying in bed devouring the Sunday Times Style mag (she can but dream) and Paw thought it was time to finally wash. He wanders into the bathroom only to be confronted by big black fat chap making his way towards my breakfast bowl.

Muttie was disturbed from her ridiculous fashionista-fantasising by hearing the following: "OUT, GET OUT, Grrrrrr, OUT, Grrrrrr."

"Bill," she hollers from her cushioned pad, "You're not by any chance, pretending to be a dog in there are you?"

"Er, no," came the reply, "I'm just trying to scare that big black bugger. He's on the prowl for Milt's grub. And I thought if I gave him a growl or two it might get more of a reaction."

Honestly, folks, don't ya sympathise?!! I mean he doesn't even LOOK or SMELL like a dog! Still, I suppose you gotta give him points for trying...sort of.

The other thing I noticed this week was that there's a company in Oz who are offering to bury folks upright (ie vertical)

Genuinely interested, I shoved this Muttie-wards with my paw.

"Oh yes Milt," she said with a horrible glint in her eye. "I wonder if they'll do it for cats too."

However, the most disturbing thing this week was when Muttie went to take a bath. I like to sit on the side of it and judge how much flesh appears on a weekly basis. I also LOVE to sip her bath water. Yesterday though she thought she'd try bath oil instead of bath foam. So, she gets the taps going, pours the oil in, steps into the bath and whooooooosh. Tsunami city, the silly bint lost her footing cos of the greasy oil and this massive tidal wave engulfed yours truly, throwing moi off the side of the bath and drenching me (see pic).

Let's just say, when it comes to friendship between the Mother Ship and The Milt well, you thought Germany and Europe had a lot of reparation to do?...

M (in the huff) xx


  1. Hi, Milt,
    Just hope she remembers that the only worthwhile reparations are edible ones, eh?
    Jez and Bootsie

  2. Milt i have been reading some of your back posts..and you have such a way with words !! guys will be so mad if they know i am following you as well as them..but you cheer me up love Joy Baileys Ma x


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