Monday, 21 December 2009

Does Christmas come at a price?

Honestly, is there nothing Muttie will stop at?

I'm beginning to wonder if she's embarrassment-deficient. The other day there she went into Acorn Pets in Irvine and asked, without a trace of irony: "Do you sell Santa Hats for kittens?"

"No," the woman behind the counter answers, "but I think BHS do."

Galvanised by this said-with-a-straight-face-reply the Mother Ship goes on: "Oh, such a shame you guys don't. I wanted to get one today for The Milt so he could do his blog tonight. He tries to write one once a week you see and he was looking for a Santa theme..."

"NEXT!!!" the assistant cries.

So, four days to go, eh? There's a big purple, plastic thing hanging from the gas fire. Muttie says it's called a stocking and it's all mine. It smells of treats. I circle it daily. It interests me...

I'm a bit worried though. I overheard the Mother Ship and Paw talk about "a holiday" and the words "Madrid" and "five days" came up. Then they mentioned "heated kennels" and "dogs there too."

Is this some kind of Christmas-type-thing? Do any of my cat pals out there recognise this language? It's my first Christmas you see and I haven't a clue what to expect...

Yours, in a quandry,

The Milt xx


  1. Milton,
    You are obviously a very intuitive type of kitten. In our experience, the kind of signals you are getting suggest the lesser life forms are plotting something.
    But our take on it is that as long as you get enough food and attention, all will be well.
    As for Santa hats, suffice to say the look we gave the tin-opener when she gleefully produced a Santa suit (from Au Naturale, of all places) was sufficient to deter her from any inappropriate costuming. She still has all her fingers, suffice to say.
    Yours festively,
    Jez and Bootsie

  2. Gawd, the last thing I ever want to see is Muttie in a red hat with Rudolph bells.

    Jez and Boots, you have my utmost sympathy.

    However, in the absence of a Cat Sitter (Muttie tried, she claims) I'm very, very scared...

  3. No, Milt, the cat suit wasn't for the tin opener. Given its size, we suspect it could have only been intended for Bootsie. Doesn't matter, the minute the tiny Velcro fastenings were unripped, we weren't having any of it.
    And don't fret about the cat hotel. It means extra staff for Christmas and they are usually cat saps even more deluded than our usual humans.
    Jez and Bootsie


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