Thursday, 3 December 2009

The Mother Ship has become extraordinary secretive these days.

I saw her smuggle in a big carrier bag the other night and, as is my want, I tried to stick my nose in it.

"Non, my sweetie," the intelligensia-challenged one, declared. "You canni peak inside this bag. It's a gift from Santa to you."

Like, who the FECK is this Santa dude? And why would he want to give me a pressie anyway? Not that I'm complaining. I mean any bloke who wants to give me a gift will be on the receiving end of 'purr central' far as I'm concerned.

Anyways, folks, to change the subject entirely, Muttie came in the other night practically pulling her hair out. This upset me 'cos there's nothing I like more than to pounce on her long locks on the pillow while she's sleeping. I like to knead them, it kinda gives me a nurturing-type feel. I can't really explain it but you know where I'm coming from.

Anyhows, Muttie was exasperation in the extreme.

"I can't believe it Milton," she declared. "It's education gone potty!"
Right. Let's have it.

"Well, I just learned today that in a school in Alloway teachers have now to refer to themselves as 'facilitators.' The word teacher is banned!"

Really? That's tres interesting. Not!

"Not only that my little kittie, but in the self same local authority the word Librarian has been banned. From now on they're to be known as 'Outreach Development Officers!"

Really? I'm appalled. Anyways, what else is this Santa dude bringing yours truly? Will it take the form of treats?

Miltonian xx


  1. Milton, Milton, at least try to pretend you are interested in the human's pathetic (non-cat) concerns. This will have the effect of increasing the quantity and quality of any gifts.
    Do we have to facilitate you everything?
    Perhaps you could head down the outreach development and check out a few books on the psychology of their primitive species?
    Jez and Bootsie xxx

  2. Jez and Bootsie, my tactic is not to encourage them as a rule. I get the feeling that were I to 'exclaim' over her outrages it would just encourage her and she'd ladle more and more of her concerns on me. You're probably right though, maybe I should fake more of an interest in the interests of treat-fulfillment...


I'm always purrrrleased to read your comments