Thursday, 3 December 2009
The Mother Ship has become extraordinary secretive these days.
I saw her smuggle in a big carrier bag the other night and, as is my want, I tried to stick my nose in it.
"Non, my sweetie," the intelligensia-challenged one, declared. "You canni peak inside this bag. It's a gift from Santa to you."
Like, who the FECK is this Santa dude? And why would he want to give me a pressie anyway? Not that I'm complaining. I mean any bloke who wants to give me a gift will be on the receiving end of 'purr central' far as I'm concerned.
Anyways, folks, to change the subject entirely, Muttie came in the other night practically pulling her hair out. This upset me 'cos there's nothing I like more than to pounce on her long locks on the pillow while she's sleeping. I like to knead them, it kinda gives me a nurturing-type feel. I can't really explain it but you know where I'm coming from.
Anyhows, Muttie was exasperation in the extreme.
"I can't believe it Milton," she declared. "It's education gone potty!"
Right. Let's have it.
"Well, I just learned today that in a school in Alloway teachers have now to refer to themselves as 'facilitators.' The word teacher is banned!"
Really? That's tres interesting. Not!
"Not only that my little kittie, but in the self same local authority the word Librarian has been banned. From now on they're to be known as 'Outreach Development Officers!"
Really? I'm appalled. Anyways, what else is this Santa dude bringing yours truly? Will it take the form of treats?
Posted by Milton at 11:26