Honestly, is there nothing Muttie will stop at?
I'm beginning to wonder if she's embarrassment-deficient. The other day there she went into Acorn Pets in Irvine and asked, without a trace of irony: "Do you sell Santa Hats for kittens?"
"No," the woman behind the counter answers, "but I think BHS do."
Galvanised by this said-with-a-straight-face-reply the Mother Ship goes on: "Oh, such a shame you guys don't. I wanted to get one today for The Milt so he could do his blog tonight. He tries to write one once a week you see and he was looking for a Santa theme..."
"NEXT!!!" the assistant cries.
So, four days to go, eh? There's a big purple, plastic thing hanging from the gas fire. Muttie says it's called a stocking and it's all mine. It smells of treats. I circle it daily. It interests me...
I'm a bit worried though. I overheard the Mother Ship and Paw talk about "a holiday" and the words "Madrid" and "five days" came up. Then they mentioned "heated kennels" and "dogs there too."
Is this some kind of Christmas-type-thing? Do any of my cat pals out there recognise this language? It's my first Christmas you see and I haven't a clue what to expect...
Yours, in a quandry,
The Milt xx