Thursday, 20 May 2010

A Shellfish Tale

This is a scintillating side-on profile pic, as you can you see for yourself.

But regardless, er, can I just apologise to all you adoring legions of fans out there? I haven't been able to blog recently cos the Muttie One has been selfishly bashing away at the keyboard non-stop, having obtained for herself a wee commission or two (journalism, not fiction, so don't get too excited).

Still, it means loads more Dreamies for me, hee hee. This is a yummy kitty treat manufactured by Mars. Now, this is the second time  I've mentioned Mars and the reason for that is, being a smart kitty, I'm looking at the possibilities offered by product placement here. Hello 21st Century!! I'm going to send Mars my two blog entries in which they're mentioned and ask if I can become an ambassador for them and hopefully they'll say: "Yes, Milt - we'd sooo love to have you on board (they'd talk like that 'cos they're probably American - all the big corps are). And please, take these 30 free packets of Dreamies with our compliments as a token of our initial appreciation."

That way, I wouldn't be reliant on Muttie and could quite easily fend for myself. This opens up all sorts of possibilities ie like me leaving home, maybe getting my own place (with furry furniture), enjoying a foreign holiday twice a year - boy are those French felines TRES sexy?! It'd maybe even result in me being able to afford that wee sparkly bling collar I spotted in Cats R Cute the other day! Actually, the possibilities, as I'm sure you realise, are endless. Of course, it'd also give me some bargaining power with Muttie along the lines of me insisting tuna should be served every alternate day rather than just every Friday. Independence is a great thing.

The other thing I wanted to mention in this blog is my R E S P E C T for cousin Jenna. I love Jenna. She's eight and so cute and smart. The other day there she'd been to the beach and collected a big bag of shells. She'd brought them to Gran's home where she spends a lot of her days after school. She wanted to clean them up, count 'em, then paint them in all sorts of gaudy rainbow colours.

"Ok," said a reluctant, ExtrEEEMELY houseproud Gran. "Now let's organise this. I'll fill the basin with hot water, you wipe them then put them on the stainless steel draining board to let them dry. Later you can paint them."

"Cool," says the Jenster.

So Gran retires to the sitting room with a cup of coffee and her mag, leaving Jenna to her own devices.

An hour later Grandpa goes into the kitchen to see how the Jenster's doing. He immediately returns to the sitting room and alerts Gran.

"Er, I think you'd better go through and have a look," he says in a rather undecided manner.

Gran throws down her mag and enters the kitchen only to see every single surface of her immaculate, sanitised haven covered in shells. In fact, it was even quite difficult to open the door.

"Wow, 305 shells Gran!! Who'd have thought?" the Jenster proudly announces....

Who indeed! Not Gran I'd readily surmise...I only wish I'd been there to see the horrified look on Muttie's Maw's face, hee, hee.

Milt, the mean advertising man, er kitty xx


  1. Hi Milt! It is great to see you! You look very handsome in your picture! Course we are a bit partial to tuxies at our house, what with having half our group be tuxies!!

    And that story about Jenna and the shells is so funny! Our mom said it sounds like something she would have done at that age!!

  2. Looking good, Milt!

    We really enjoyed the story about Jenna and the shells. Classic!

  3. Good to see you back Milt buddy..wondered why you hadn't dropped by my blog lately, been a bit busy TRYING to teach Mo to hunt, he is a total Wimp, ive written about it on my blog, that lad is SO frustrating me. Great idea about the Dreamies, im all for enterprise, and your own pad would be cool.
    The shell story is funny, i usually disappear upstairs or into the garden when Ma's grandkids come, i used to get put into a dolls pram by the one when she was younger !!!..that aint no place for a self respecting cat, i wasn't happy i tell you...anyway its great you are back blogging, talk soon buddy..take care,Bailey (Lady, Jacey and Mo)

  4. Oh, Milton! You can't eat Mars bars! Don't you know they test their products on cats? They put chocolate intravenous and cause the test cats lots of pain. Nonono, Milton, no more Mars for you:(

  5. Milton!! Mars are MAD not to make you their ambassador for Dreamies! You have the face that may launch a thousand Dreamies onto the wider populace! Just look at your handsome profile!

    But a word to the wise. Maybe it's best to keep cousin Jenster a little quiet. We don't want Mars discovering there's an obsessive shell collector in the family - and if they find that she's related to your Muttie.. think of the consequences!! :-)

    Awwww you'd miss Muttie if you went all independent!! She give you tons of cuddles and maybe a share of her royalties when she's all published with that best seller!

    Take care

  6. I wondered where you got off too but it's nice to see you and I enjoyed your post, made my whiskers grin up!

  7. Hi Milt... great blog post. I love shells myself, so I would have liked what she collected. Have a great day...


  8. Err.... Milt Buddy,

    When you get the MARS contract, can you tell them about Lucky too?
    My bags are packed...
    Hehehehe - Let's go meet those sexy frenchy felines...

    Love, Lucky

  9. Oh, Jenna is sooo smart!! You are right! And I think you should get that contract with MARS! If I had any pull, I'd put a word in for you, my witty feline friend! ~Janine XO

  10. Hey Milt... Good to see you back Milt.

    Check my blog. There's an award for your food human on it.

    Have a great day!

  11. We've never seen shells! We're furry jealous but we also think you're one adorable tuxcat too!

  12. Milt, are Mars availible in the United States? Perhaps I should try them for my furry felines.


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